it ain't heavy, it's my bread

Had I known this I would have
given up gluten years ago. #cellulite

When we last left our intrepid heroine, she informed us that she had received the dual diagnosis of, "You're old, and you have arthritis."  We have been on pins and needles waiting to hear what she is going to do to combat that devastating combination!

Nora will stop referring to herself in the third person now.

A pan of what we thought was gluten free lasagna.
That was before I discovered sausage does indeed
contain gluten. Dammit - so close to being gluten free!!

After Dr. Wonderful told me I'm old and have arthritis, I asked about the possibility of a gluten sensitivity.

He said it was really not likely.

Hearing his opinion made me decide to try going gluten free for a month or so and see if there was any improvement.

I started at lunch last Saturday (had to do some shopping first!) and it really hasn't been too bad.  It's a learning curve for me, however. Things I thought were gluten free are not, and I ate them in the last week so I guess I haven't been truly gluten FREE, more like gluten frugal.

Part of my gluten-free lunch one day this week:
salad with honey-dijon dressing, and for dessert,
Annie's Vanilla & Cocoa Bunny Cookies and
chocolate covered pretzels.  The other part was
the lasagna with gluten failure.  

So I've been doing lots of research and trying to sort out what I can and can't eat.  It's been an education. Many soups have gluten in the broth. It's used a filler in all kinds of food so you really have to look at labels. I found tasty treats at Trader Joe's, and turns out there is an excellent GF store a few miles from our house. And Cub Foods has a surprisingly huge selection of GF foods!  Also surprising - the cost of GF bread products. And some of the loaves could serve as effective door stops.  Holy crap, I swear they weigh about 10 pounds, and so far, I haven't found a bread product that can be used to make a sandwich. If they're not toasted, they're pretty disgusting. I'm sure there's something out there that will work; the search will continue.  But hear this: If my GF experiment works, I'm going to learn to make my own bread. I could go broke trying to satisfy my carb whore tendencies.

Even more crushing news: I found out that envelope glue contains gluten. (Stamps too!)  Such a disappointment! First I had to come to grips with the fact that the occupation of "Hand Model" would never be listed on my resume. Now I have to give up the dream of appearing on "My Freaky/Disgusting/Attention-Seeking Habit" and showcasing my compulsion to lick 5000 envelopes a day???? This sucks!!  I'm never going to be famous.

Annnnnyyyyywhoooo.....Allow me to say goodbye to a few of my gluten-filled friends I can no longer hang with:

• Oreos
• Gorgonzola cheese
• Grey Goose Vodka
• Oreos
• Cottage cheese
• Clif bars
• Chocolate Malt-O-Meal
• Oreos
• Boca burgers
• Steel cut oatmeal
• Did I mention Oreos?

But the friend to whom I most hate to say goodbye?

DON JULIO TEQUILA.

That's going to be a tough one. (If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know how much I adore my sippin' tequila.)

But I adore running even more so if this experiment works, it will be well worth it.

yep, I'm still here

Source

Ok, here's the deal.  I haven't been posting lately because I've been dealing with A LOT of joint pain and every time I started to write something, it sounded either bitchy or whiny.  I mean, I know I call myself Bitter Hag and all, but I don't really like to sound bitter. At least not all the time. Just for special occasions.

Aaannnnyyyywhoooo....

Here's how it all went down.  I saw my ob/gyn for my annual and mentioned that I'd been having serious joint pains in both hands, both knees and both ankles and the knee pain in particular has been making it incredibly painful for me to run....I first noticed the hand pain to September 19th (I know this only because I was getting a dye job and hair cut. I measure many milestones in my life by their proximity to haircut appointment dates.)  So I was talking (and probably gesturing wildly) to my hair dude, when all of a sudden my finger joints were KILLING me.  It was really weird.  The severe pain lasted a few weeks and then subsided quite a bit to a mild, dull ache. After that, I started having pains in various joints that would come and go with varying pain severity levels, but the knee pain really took off in early January and hasn't let up.....  So my ob/gyn suggested I see my primary care doc....

My primary care doc looked at my red, swollen joints and said that obviously, something is going on. She drew a bunch of labs and said that even if all the results are negative, she was going to send me to a rheumatologist because my joints look so unhappy......Did I mention that I have newly emergent bone spurs on some finger joints, too? The end result is red, raised lumps on my joints. Guess I can give up the dream of being a hand model...

Source

Back to the saga......I finally got to see the rheumatologist last Friday.  He spent an hour with me, flying through a bunch of review of systems-type questions (Do you have ringing in your ears? When was your last period? Have you had feelings of depression in the last two weeks?), asking about my family history, and then said, "Well, your labs are all normal, there is no inflammatory process going on. You're healthy. You're just old. You have arthritis."

Yeah, I'm 47.  Turns out, 47 ISN'T the new 32. Damn.

So I asked about the sudden onset of pain in BOTH hands, BOTH knees, BOTH ankles.  I mean, I've had my share of running related injuries, and I'm used to the general sorts of pain associated with running, but this is totally different and gee, the last time I checked, I don't rely on my hands much during the running process.

His response to the question of sudden onset? "It wasn't."

Huh?? It wasn't?  Oh good, I'm glad he cleared that up for me.

He then went on to say, "People always ask me, "why me?" "why now?" and I tell them "because that's the way it happened" and "because you're getting old."  Is he for real?? I was so frustrated when I left his office.  I don't know what I was hoping to hear, but I guess thought (or was hoping) that I was going to walk away with some type of action plan that would help me get back into running. I also realized that he never asked me why I was there to see him.  He didn't seem at all interested in hearing what my concerns are, and definitely didn't get what a big deal it is for me to NOT be able to run.

Whoops.  I guess this post ended up sounding both bitchy and whiny.  Sorry about that!  My next post will be all about what I'm going to do to try to combat my pains. I promise it won't be an ongoing bitchfest, I'll keep it positive!

stick it to me

Is it possible that Grandma's is really only 3 days away? Hoooollllllyyyyy craaaaap.  I hope I'm ready.

So, you know I've had some issues with pain over the course of my storied running career, right?  Baker's cysts and tendinitis being the most obnoxious causes of pain, but other ugly little issues have raised their heads from time to time.

So I decided to try acupuncture.  Mostly because I got a deal on LivingSocial.com. You know how much I HATE to pay full price for anything.

Annnn-eeee-thiiiinnng.

Clearly, having a stranger stick needles in my body isn't something I feel I should pay full price for either.  Makes perfect sense, no?

Don't worry, I did my due diligence.
Is the place of acupuncture in my (small, NOT urban) hometown? Check. (I spend enough time in rush hour traffic already, and it don't gotta be in the big city to be good!)
Has it been in operation for more than 8 months? Check. (It's been up and running for NINE months)
Is it run by someone who understands athletes? Check. (He's a former All-American NCAA gymnast.)

Focusing on the knees and ankles.

So far, I've had six sessions. And to paraphrase Katy Perry, I had acupuncture and I think I like it. (As far as I know, there was no cherry ChapStick involved.)

Anywhoo.....  It's kind of strange but the first few times it didn't hurt at all.  But as I've upped the ol' mileage and abused the bod, I've gotten more sensitive. The last treatment hurt like a son of a beyoch! Apparently, that's normal. Your body starts to know what to expect with the acupuncture and reacts more strongly or something.... also, having run 20 miles makes your muscles a tad more tender than usual.

So the process goes like this: you talk about what ails you, and then needles are placed in locations intended to target your target areas. Then you are left alone for 10-15 minutes, then the practitioner comes back in and messes with each needle to make sure you REALLY feel each and every one and then leaves you alone again for another 10-15 minutes for the needles to do their magic.

These needles target the relaxation muscles.
(there is such a thing, right?)
This is my arm by the way.

It's pretty cool actually. There are direct lines to pain sources that can be targeted.  And, similar to foot reflexology, there are locations on your body that will target your lungs, blood flow (oxygenation) and all sorts of things. I wish I had paid better attention to the descriptions.  Typically, he would place needles in each ear (the scapha, not the lobe or canal) and one on my forehead between my eyes. Both are intended to induce relaxation.  It worked.  I woke myself up with my snoring a couple of times. But I digress....

The treatment regimen is to do two treatments per week for two weeks and then maintenance of one per week for however long you want to continue.  I've moved through the two per week and have progressed to the one per week. I have two sessions left and will be using them after my little jog from Two Harbors to Duluth.

Oh, and word to the wise: once the needles have been placed, DO NOT flex your muscles or move a lot or try to get your phone out of your pocket so that you can take pictures of the needles piercing your skin. Movement HURTS and you will regret your stupid decision.  It's best to just relax and enjoy the alone time. 

See the divot around the needle close to my ankle?
I had a MASSIVE muscle cramp during this session
(this is the after photo right before the needles were extracted)
and when that needle was  pulled out, it had been
bent to a 90 degree angle. Muscle power!!

So the best part about all of this is that my tendinitis hasn't been as much of an issue lately. And I've been sleeping better, too.  Is it the acupuncture?  Honestly, I don't know.  But it doesn't seem to have hurt anything.  So I'll keep at it and see if these positive trends continue.

Anyone else ever try acupuncture or other types of non-Western medicine to combat pain, anxiety or anything else?  What are your thoughts?

wardrobe failures

My poor, battered toes.

My toe hurts.

The big toe on my left foot really took a beating in last weekend's 20 mile run.  It's pretty pissed off.  And it's sharing it's displeasure with me loud and clear.

So.....I'm still on the quest for the perfect running shoe for my big girl feet.  So far I've tried a couple variations of Asics, two generations of Saucony ProGrid Guide and the Brooks Adrenaline running shoes. None have made me happy. I am left wanting.

Ooooo, that must mean that new gear is needed!!!

Off I went to TC Running Company - one of my two favorite running gear stores.  (The other is Gear Running Store.)  They are both on the other side of the planet from where I live but are sooooo worth the drive.  I picked TC Running because it was open on Memorial Day.

the new kicks

Anywhoo, the upshot of my little shopping expedition was that I ended up with a lovely pair of new shoes. Success!!

What kind, you ask? Nike Structure. I've run about 7 miles in them so far, and so far so good.  Did I mention that they are yellow?  I think the color is officially considered "Lemon Yellow."

Such a subtle and understated color.

Love!

I've been looking for fun running clothes, too.  I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I'm running a couple of marathons this year.

It's true.

So I need fun and inspiring running clothes!

How cute is this running skirt?  Don't you just love it!!

I found a super cute Brooks running skirt on runningwarehouse.com and ordered it.

I was SO excited when I saw it - even cuter in person (skirton??) than online!

I tried it on and the fit was awesome.

But the color of the undershorts.......not so awesome.

Not sure if you're aware of this but I'm getting close to 50 years old.  Due to a nasty combination of a lifetime of poor diet choices and the heartbreak of genetics, I have a hell of a lot of some extra adipose tissue in the gut and thigh areas that I'd really prefer to keep under wraps/ draped in camouflage as much as possible. (I might consider a burka if made of lightweight tech material.)

No disrespect intended to Laura Hillenbrand or Louis Zamperini,
I was merely illustrating a point.
But if you haven't already read "Unbroken" YOU MUST READ IT.
Fantastic book!!

Anywhoo, the undershorts were a huge disappointment.  They were practically transparent. No shit!!  If the skirt were to catch a breeze and fly up it would be both frightening and disturbing for all involved.

On several levels.

Serious wardrobe failure.

I sent the cute skirt back.

Guess I'll keep shopping....

ah, it brings back memories

Cool shirt. Too bad it stinks.  I mean it, it smells awful.
I've washed it 5 times already and can't get the chemical
odor out.  The husband says to toss it (it actually makes the
rest of the laundry stink too) but I'm holding out hope that
some type of detergent exists that will enable it pass the
sniff test (or being in the same room without gagging test) and be wearable.

The Northern Lakes Run. (Yeah, I'm still a bit behind in my blogging - this race was on May 13th.)

Anywhoo, remember when I ran this one last year and channeled the King of Pop in my thriller jacket?  This year I got nothin' like that to tell.  Kind of disappointing really. The fact that someone actually read that post and then recognized me (or actually, my Thriller jacket) at Grandma's was amazing.  Clearly my awesome fashion sense will someday catapult me to some type of legendary status. Most likely in the "fashion don't" category but whatever.

Wait, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah, training for Grandma's. Ok, so once again, I used this race as a training run for Grandma's. The weather this year was spectacular. Such a nice change from last year's rainy and blustery run.  I actually looked around this year and saw where I was running - it's a beautiful course! The day was a little too warm for me but still a fantastic, gorgeously sunny day. The same small field size as last year - maybe 125 runners - made for some quality introspection and navel contemplation time for those of us at the end of the line (read: slowpokes),  We were strung out and alone for a good portion of the second half.

I ran with a pacer for the first 11 miles and then had to drop back.  I kind of fell apart a bit at the end.  The previous weekend's trail race and half marathon left my feet battered and they bitched a lot about being forced to carry me so far.  New shoes on the horizon.  Check.

I also hadn't hydrated very well during the week leading up to the race so the warm weather took a bit of a toll on this delicate flower, too. Hydration lesson learned. Check.

Oh, and just to make things a little more interesting, I also had some strange back pain during the last half of the run. I had to stop and stretch several times. My entire mid-back was sore. Not sure what that was all about.... maybe I was running funny because of the foot pain? Whatever it was, it went away by the next day and hasn't reared it's ugly head again. <knock on wood> Whew!

Crossing the finish line! Sadly, that's my gun time for the 30k,
not a marathon time.  Maybe someday.... <she said wistfully>
(photo credit: Gary Westlund www.charitieschallenge.org)

Overall, I was happy with this run. Despite the pain, it was a pretty easy run for me. And I shaved about 5 minutes off last year's time which makes it a PR!!

And here are the splits I know you're just dying to see:

Split	Time	Distance	Avg Pace
Summary	3:21:24.0	18.78	10:43
1	10:48.5	1.00	10:48
2	10:41.0	1.00	10:41
3	10:34.1	1.00	10:34
4	10:28.3	1.00	10:28
5	10:47.3	1.00	10:47
6	10:38.7	1.00	10:39
7	10:29.9	1.00	10:30
8	10:28.3	1.00	10:28
9	10:07.9	1.00	10:08
10	10:18.1	1.00	10:18
11	10:02.9	1.00	10:03
12	10:52.9	1.00	10:53
13	10:44.9	1.00	10:45
14	11:56.0	1.00	11:56
15	11:03.6	1.00	11:04
16	10:58.1	1.00	10:58
17	11:50.2	1.00	11:50
18	10:50.9	1.00	10:51
19	7:42.4	0.78	9:49

Slowly but surely, I'm making my way towards Grandma's.  I can't believe it's less than three weeks away!!

Taper time has officially begun, which means I get to start obsessing about the weather, what to wear, how to trick myself into sleeping the night before the race, how to get the right food in my belly the morning of the race..... all kinds of super important first-world type issues, no?

heading to grandma's, week 6

Another week under my belt!  This week wasn't my best but it definitely reinforced things I knew (but chose to ignore), and provided some learning opportunities.  For an old broad, I sure make some dumb, non-commonsensical choices.

Here's the recap for the week.  Read and learn from my mistakes..... you know I'm here for you.

Week 6:  March 19-25

Poor colorless day 79.

Monday
Easy run of 4 miles at 11:34 min
Workout note: Felt horrible all day at work, had a low grade fever and chills.  When I got home, I went right to bed.  No workout at all for me, which means my "move 30 minutes every day" streak ended after 78 days. That was a bummer. So I'm starting over again.

Tuesday
Easy run of 5 miles at 11:34 min
Workout note: Worked from home, still not feeling too hot.  Besides being sick, I've been experiencing some heartburn along with TONS of PVCs and they are driving me crazy.  Even though I figured they're benign, the fact that I'd been having runs of them and wasn't feeling well AND had a 15 mile run coming up made me think I should talk to someone, just in case.  I was right, no heart worries, which is great!  But the PVCs are still really bugging me.  My resting heart rate is pretty slow now, so I'm likely just noticing them more.  Got out with Jane and ran 5.07 miles at 10:35 pace.  And though I still felt kind of yucky, it was a nice, easy run. Yay for that!

Wednesday
Workout note: Core work. 150 clam shells, 25 push-ups, 20 crunches, 20 hip thrusts, 20 reverse crunches, 20 bicycle crunches, 20 pendulums, 10 plank reps. Today is Sunday and I'm still feeling the effects.  Ouch.  I absolutely have to do this more often; if I don't, my core strength could end up being my achilles heel. (Get it? Hahaha!)

Remember the jacket I won from the running club? Here
it is!  Sweet, ain't it?  I photographed it in all kinds of
J. Peterman-like action poses, but then you couldn't see the logo.
So there goes my attempt at artistic expression. Dang it.

Thursday
Run 3 miles at 11:34-12:34 pace
Workout note: Met with the running group again (Shoutout to Mary!!) and did 4.02 miles (Monday's distance) at 10:59 pace.
I'm enjoying meeting new folks and seeing some old friends, too!  It was a fun, if rainy run.  We got soaked!
GarminElectra was obnoxious as could be....  beeping and chirping the whole time.  One of the women asked, "What does all that beeping mean?" I explained that GE doesn't like rain, doesn't like being called upon to work, really, and this was how she expressed it.  Oh, and GE showed her versatility, too.  This time, instead of shutting off mid-run, she wouldn't allow me to turn her off AFTER the run, so the miles kept beeping on the way home in the car.  Then, after originally denying access, for no reason all all GE finally let me get to the "Stop Workout" screen.  I have GOT to get a new running partner.  Or maybe figure out what I'm doing wrong with this one. Sigh.

Friday
Workout note: Jane and I headed out for a nice leisurely walk, stopping often so Jane could fully experience all the wonderful/nasty smells of spring. 1.21 miles.

Saturday
Long Run as Follows:
WU for 1 mile at 12:34 pace
Run 14 miles at 11:34-12:34 min
Cool down with brisk walk for 5-10 minutes
Workout note: Holy Hannah, this one was tough.  I take full responsibility.  Read about it HERE.  My biggest concern really is how much my left ankle hurt when I was done running. Feels like the tendinitis might be making a comeback.  I was hoping that switching to Brooks (from the Sauconys) meant I wouldn't need orthotics anymore, but it's feeling like I do so I headed out to get some new ones today.  Hopefully, that will help.  My old orthotics, may they rest in peace, served me well and have now gone to a better place.

Sunday
Workout note:  Walked to the Quickie-Mart with the husband and the dog.  2.64 miles.  I tried my new orthotics and though they felt great support-wise, they are only half orthotics and I'm thinking that seam might just drive me crazy, not to mention cause blisters or other mischief.  We'll see how it goes.

Miles planned: 27
Miles run: 23.97 (What the heck, let's just call it 24! Oh, and I'm including the miles I walked during yesterday's 15 miler.)
Miles walked: 3.85

Happy week to you!

what up?

Learnin' to shoot!! Typical American 4th of July activity
 meets mother/son bonding time.  Here's SS teaching me how
to use a BB gun on our recent trip to Omaha.

Hey peeps!  Here's what I've been up to lately, along with my typical stream of consciousness-type blogging....

Fitness
Running?  Not so much.  My ankles are still really sore.  I've been taking it easy, just doing 3 miles at a time, nice and slow.  And daily walking with Jane of course.  My right ankle in particular is bugging big time.  The pain is now starting to travel up the ankle bone..... I might need to schedule some quality time with my sports doc.

Our awesome shirts for the Warrior Dash!

I'm signed up for two races next weekend: the Lumberjack Days 10 miler on Saturday and the husband and I are doing the Warrior Dash on Sunday.  The Warrior Dash shouldn't be a problem but I'm a little worried about the 10 miler.  That could be an ugly one, especially with my practically non-existent mileage.  We shall see what the weekend brings.

I started a couple of new programs - 100 push-ups and 200 squats.  They are both 6 week programs brought to me via my new iPhone.  There's an app for that!  My upper body strength is crapola so I'm hoping the push-ups will help with that.  And call me crazy, but I LOVE doing squats.  Both of these will be easy to incorporate into my day so I'm thinking they are doable and attainable goals.

Name-dropping
Hey, remember Misty?  I was lucky to run with her for a while in the Stillwater 20 miler and then saw her heading towards the finish line at Grandma's.  I'm not the only one who's inspired by her.  There was an article in the Pioneer Press about Misty and her amazing accomplishments!  Way to go, Misty!!!

Weather
We are in the middle of some nasty-ass weather.  Feelin' hot, hot. hot.  And humid.  I think the humidity has been in the high 70's.  It's like being underwater when you go outside.  I actually LOVE hot, humid weather but this is getting to be a bit much, even for me.

How I ruined the husband's birthday last year. 

Work
Work has continued to be super busy.  Super duper busy.  It's awesome that I can work from home about 50% of the time.  It's so nice to not have to spend 2-3 hours a day in rush hour traffic.

The husband
We celebrated the husband's birthday this week.  Last year I pretty much destroyed his birthday by getting in a 3 car accident on the interstate (during rush hour traffic) and totaling my Pilot.  It was the first car accident I've ever been in.  Scary!! I wasn't hurt, other than major torquing of my body and LOTS of muscle pain, so that was good.  But it did kind of put the kibosh on any sort of birthday celebration, unless you count time spent in Urgent Care as celebrating.  And my trusty Pilot didn't survive.

the calorie-laden remains of the husband's birthday cake.

This year was better.  I didn't try to steal his thunder with my usual attention-seeking behavior (e.g. totaling my car).  He didn't get home until late on his actual birthday (Bastille Day!) due to two kids in sports but I made a fantastic german chocolate cake for him.  It's his favorite.  Almost a whole pound of butter between the cake and the frosting.  I think it's about 800 calories per slice.  No lie.  It's so worth it. (My mouth is watering just typing this.  I might need to go get myself another piece.)  We've spent the last couple of days extending the celebration.  I think he's enjoyed it.

Photo shoots always tire Jane out.

I signed the husband (and myself) up for the Medtronic TC 10 mile lottery. It's limited to 8800 runners and is run the same day as the Twin Cities Marathon.  We'll find out in a few days if we made the cut.  I love 10 mile races.  I think it's the perfect distance!  I really hope we can get in.  It would be fun to be a part of the TCM festivities!

So that's about it.  Things remain pretty quiet here in Lake Wobegon.

What's everyone else been up to?