Sunday, March 3, 2013

it ain't heavy, it's my bread

Had I known this I would have
given up gluten years ago. #cellulite
When we last left our intrepid heroine, she informed us that she had received the dual diagnosis of, "You're old, and you have arthritis."  We have been on pins and needles waiting to hear what she is going to do to combat that devastating combination!

Nora will stop referring to herself in the third person now.

A pan of what we thought was gluten free lasagna.
That was before I discovered sausage does indeed
contain gluten. Dammit - so close to being gluten free!!
After Dr. Wonderful told me I'm old and have arthritis, I asked about the possibility of a gluten sensitivity.

He said it was really not likely.

Hearing his opinion made me decide to try going gluten free for a month or so and see if there was any improvement.

I started at lunch last Saturday (had to do some shopping first!) and it really hasn't been too bad.  It's a learning curve for me, however. Things I thought were gluten free are not, and I ate them in the last week so I guess I haven't been truly gluten FREE, more like gluten frugal.

Part of my gluten-free lunch one day this week:
salad with honey-dijon dressing, and for dessert,
Annie's Vanilla & Cocoa Bunny Cookies and
chocolate covered pretzels.  The other part was
the lasagna with gluten failure.  
So I've been doing lots of research and trying to sort out what I can and can't eat.  It's been an education. Many soups have gluten in the broth. It's used a filler in all kinds of food so you really have to look at labels. I found tasty treats at Trader Joe's, and turns out there is an excellent GF store a few miles from our house. And Cub Foods has a surprisingly huge selection of GF foods!  Also surprising - the cost of GF bread products. And some of the loaves could serve as effective door stops.  Holy crap, I swear they weigh about 10 pounds, and so far, I haven't found a bread product that can be used to make a sandwich. If they're not toasted, they're pretty disgusting. I'm sure there's something out there that will work; the search will continue.  But hear this: If my GF experiment works, I'm going to learn to make my own bread. I could go broke trying to satisfy my carb whore tendencies.

Even more crushing news: I found out that envelope glue contains gluten. (Stamps too!)  Such a disappointment! First I had to come to grips with the fact that the occupation of "Hand Model" would never be listed on my resume. Now I have to give up the dream of appearing on "My Freaky/Disgusting/Attention-Seeking Habit" and showcasing my compulsion to lick 5000 envelopes a day???? This sucks!!  I'm never going to be famous.

Annnnnyyyyywhoooo.....Allow me to say goodbye to a few of my gluten-filled friends I can no longer hang with:

  • Oreos
  • Gorgonzola cheese
  • Grey Goose Vodka
  • Oreos
  • Cottage cheese
  • Clif bars
  • Chocolate Malt-O-Meal
  • Oreos
  • Boca burgers
  • Steel cut oatmeal
  • Did I mention Oreos?

But the friend to whom I most hate to say goodbye?


That's going to be a tough one. (If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know how much I adore my sippin' tequila.)

But I adore running even more so if this experiment works, it will be well worth it.


  1. I've dabbled in a gluten free lifestyle for about a year now. I've been told I have IBS which is a real pain in the rear, pun intended. I've found that going dairy and gluten free make all the difference. I can't wait to hear how your experiment works. Poor Don Julio Tequila... check out the blog of the gluten free goddess.

    1. Hey Kristal! I've had IBS since my early 20s as well. I'm considering going dairy free but want to test one thing at a time. :)

      I just checked out Gluten Free Goddess - what a great resource!! Thanks so much for the recommendation!

    2. Just read this on the Gluten Free Goddess, so it doesn't look like you have to give up Tequila afterall:
      "As for alcoholic drinks, there is good news. Many are safe. In general, avoid flavorings, mixes, and malt. Potato vodkas and unflavored rums and tequilas are naturally gluten-free. Distilled whiskey is as well. Cognac is safe; and good brandy is usually fine- but watch out for added flavors that may not be gluten-free."
      You might have to drink it straight up without a mix though ;)

    3. Thanks Kristal! I found out that Patron tequila is gluten free. Not as good as Don Julio but a decent substitute.... and I don't mix those spendy tequilas with anything - they're for sippin' only!! :)
      And now I've discovered Ciroc vodka - it's quite tasty AND gluten free (and I like it even better than Grey Goose). Life is good!

    4. FYI - tagged you in my post for a Liebster Award.

    5. Awwww, thanks, Kristal!! That's awesome! I'll do my best to represent for the little blogs!

  2. Nora--I have found that as I've gotten older (the last few years, specifically) I have gotten more sensitive to dairy and gluten. Too much can make me miserable. This comes from a chick that could eat anything (and usually did) so it breaks my heart. But feeling better far outweighs a temporary fix of good stuff. Good luck with your experiment!

    1. Hi Sue! Yeah, I'm thinking my ecosystem is becoming more delicate with each passing year, too.....I have noticed that since changing my diet, my GI tract seems a tad happier! The experiment continues...... :)

  3. Good news for you, Nora!
    1) There is a bread that is soft and good for sandwiches, and you don't even need to toast it! It is Udi's brand. The bad news is it is usually around $5 a loaf, but after years of hating gf bread options, I am willing to pay the price.
    2) I used to love chocolate Malt o Meal, but now my substitute is cream of rice cereal (I add cocoa powder to make it chocolatey good). Give it a try!
    3) You can still have steel cut oats - Bob's Red Mill makes a gluten free version.
    4) There are several gf oreo cookie knockoffs out there. Some are better than others, and no, none are quite as good as the original oreos, but you get used to it... really (coming from a former oreo addict).
    Good luck on your journey... you can do this!

    1. Thanks, anon! It's been a learning curve but surprisingly enough, not as tough as I thought it was going to be. Super excited to learn that steel cut oat aren't out!! I'll try Bob's. Thanks for letting me know!
      I'm still in search of the perfect Oreo knock-off, but I'm patient..... I'll keep trying them!

  4. Good luck! I like the Udi's bagels for when I just want something that seems breadlike. And I was really surprised that soy sauce has gluten in it. What??!

    1. I know, right? What's up with that??? So weird how so many things have gluten hidden within them.
      Udi's has some really tasty bread-like substances.... I'm not missing bread all that much, which I must say, is something of a shock to me!


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