Sunday, April 3, 2011

wookin' pa nub

I'm looking for a sports bra I can love.

The girls and I are getting pretty tired of bouncing along the roads of life and could use a little more support.  And color!  I'd also like to not risk dislocating my shoulder getting in and out of a boulder holder strait-jacket.  I need some help, people!!  Help me find a bra the girls and I can love which will love us right back!!

Fun facts to know and share: I wear a 34D.  I am 5'11" tall and weigh about 145 pounds. I am also in my mid-forties so the level of perkiness has gone from amazing and unappreciated (age 19 or so - oh, the sweet ignorance of youth!) to reasonable (mid-thirties) and has now morphed into.....disappointing.

But I digress.....

Here's what I have tried so far:
Champion style #6209.  Pink.  Really faded pink.  Standard bra with 3 hook/eye closure.  Non-adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 1.0.  I love this bra but it's getting quite ratty and not nearly as supportive as it used to be. It fit PERFECTLY when I got it.  Plus, the inside is getting all pilly so I had to use a sweater shaver on it to avoid irritation.  Don't judge.

Champion style #6209.  White.  Standard bra with 3 hook/eye closure.  Non-adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 1.0.  I bought this one because I LOVE my faded pink one so much.  But of course, Champion had to *eff* with the sizing and fit so it rides super high under my armpits and I swear the straps are shorter.  Fairly uncomfortable.  Big disappointment.

Under Armour style #unknown.  White. Pullover with no clasp. Non-adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 8.5. Comfy but has annoying seams IN the cups.  Can you say "Chafing alert?"  Owie!!

Moving Comfort style #unknown. Electric blue!! Pull over with no clasp. Non-adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 9.0.  Comfortable once I can get the damn thing on except for the seams at the shoulder which are irritating.  Strange little nubbins on the band that leave interesting pattern on skin.  
Champion style #1612.  Hot pink!! Pullover with 2 hook/eye closure.  Non-adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 6.0. This one has a strange fit to it - too big and just right at the same time.  Quite comfortable but not supportive enough.  Ok for when I'm on the elliptical, anything more "impactful" equals fail.
Champion style #9516.  White. Standard bra with 2 hook/eye closure.  Entry and exit difficulty rating = 1.0. Worst bra ever.  Ugly.  Cheap construction. Is only included here as a warning. Piece o' crap!! 
Champion style #unknown.  White. Pullover with 3 hook/eye closure.  Adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 1.0.   In it's heyday, this bra wasn't too bad but has now passed its prime.  Hate the seams in the front.  
Moving Comfort style #350025.  Bright green!  Pullover with 3 hook/eye closure.  Adjustable straps. Entry and exit difficulty rating = 7.0. Probably operator error but I have a tough time hooking it together.  I really want to love this one but the jury is still out.  Just got it and it's finally getting softer.

So here's my wishlist:
1.  34D
2.  Color! Color! And more color!! (what is it about bra manufacturers and their unwillingness to bring color to the chests of women with boobies larger than a C cup????)
3.  Adjustable straps
4.  Relatively easy in/easy out.  I don't want putting my bra on to be the toughest part of my workout.
5.  Seamless inner cups
6.  Separate cups - one for each lovely girl.  I am NOT a fan of the uniboob, from the aesthetics standpoint as well as comfort and moisture accumulation.  Blech.

Oh, and a bra that will take me back to my 19 year old shape. <she said wistfully>

Any ideas, ladies??  Please help the girls!!  What bras can you recommend I try?

And hey!!  Any sponsors out there looking for aging runners to test their bras??  Send 'em my way!!  I'll post honest reviews - glowing, scathing and in between!


  1. This post made me LAUGH. Sorry! My husband LOVES the fun of watching me wrangle myslef in and out of sports bras. And I gotta say, the only great thing about being super flat chested is one less thing to worry about while running. Good luck in your search!

  2. Yeah, I totally laughed my head off. You have such a way with words! My boobies are to small to make uniboob. The one thing I really need to be aware of however, is that the "lights" are both pointing in the same direction. After nursing three kids forever, the boobettes have a tendency to... wander (great party trick, though).

  3. That's quite a bra collection you have there! The only bra I found that I like for support is kinda thin and doesn't do a good job of masking the headlight issue Suzy pointed out. You got some great recommendations over on DM though. I ordered one someone suggested and I'm hoping for a winner!

  4. OMG - yes to the wandering!! I should have included "douses the party lights" in the list of criteria. Definitely an issue here as well. :)


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